For our one-month anniversary (a most important date)
You booked a four-star restaurant for a meal to celebrate
Our two-month anniversary – you remembered once again
And to mark the day you treated me to strawberries and champagne
The six-month anniversary – I could ask for nothing finer
Than the lovely vintage handbag by that Italian Designer
A whole year passed as man and wife – you said “My darling choose
- A four week tour of Canada or a Caribbean cruise?”
For two years spent as man and wife the gift I got from you
Was a diamond-studded necklace (with the matching earrings too)
For our three-year anniversary I really have to say
That I felt a million dollars in that sexy lingerie
Our four year anniversary – you almost pushed your luck
When you said “You’ll find this useful”….. (It was Delia’s “How To Cook”)
For our five year anniversary – as a token of your love
I got a printed cotton apron (with a matching oven glove)
For seven years together I got an upright vacuum – which
Made me briefly think of straying (but I didn’t scratch that itch)
Our tenth-year anniversary – our double-figure year
You bought “anti-aging serum” to “make wrinkles disappear”
Five more years of married bliss – and I thought that you were joking
When I got an iron and ironing board as your fifteen-year love token
After twenty years of married life you thought underwear was best
(I got “flatter tummy panties” and a pack of thermal vests)
Our Silver Anniversary – a Landmark Date (I think)
You got me fitted units and a brand new kitchen sink
For thirty years of married life I got no gift – instead
You bought (you said “for both of us”) an orthopaedic bed
After forty years together you caught me unawares
With that lift you got from Stannah to assist me up the stairs
After fifty years together I thought that you’d forgot
….Then you showed me the Certificate for the graveyard double plot…
And I hope we get to Sixty years – but to spare you the expense
Don’t buy a gift, we don’t need the stress… it just makes us “Present Tense”!