A Mother's Love 

 I know that there's an adage that says that "mum knows best"

But I've had enough of your advice - could you please give it a rest?

I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I think it must be said

That I'm old enough to choose myself when it's time to go to bed

And I know it may sound churlish (and I'll come across as mean)

But it really makes no difference if my underwear is clean

And when it comes to what I eat…… mother - Please Be Quiet

It's up to me if I choose live on a solely junk food diet

And the comments on my dress sense "You're Not Going Out Like That…."

Cut no ice with me, I like my style (and who cares if I look fat?)

Then you found that crate of lager and it gave you the idea

I'm a chronic alcoholic - Mum….. I'm not "obsessed by beer"

And you saw my pack of condoms and you seem to think it means

I'm a raving nymphomaniac - some rampant sex-crazed fiend

 And the unmarked pills you came across…… (to ward off winter bugs)

The label had just fallen off - I'm not taking Class "A" drugs!

I don't intend to cause you pain - I love you mother dear

(But I think I'd love you even more if you didn't interfere)

I'm sorry if it's brutal - but you really have to learn

That you frankly overdo it with your motherly concern

So mother take your own advice and please do as you're told

I'm married…

                     ……I'm a father

                                                      ……and I'm forty-two years old!

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