Because I'm Worth It

My image was dull drab and dreary (it hadn't be changed for a while)
I thought that my hair had potential - it was time I updated my style
But the last time that I'd had a haircut I hadn't been pleased with my "do"
I'd lost half my hair - though I'm certain I said "Not too much - just an inch, maybe two"
So I thought "Why not go for a colour?" No need for a salon for that
Just pick up a packet whilst shopping and then hang my head over the bath"
It was time that I tried something different "Mousy brown" was my natural shade
But I wanted dramatic I needed a change (and to knock several years off my age)
So I checked all the products on offer "Nice and Easy" one packet said
Be it platinum blonde, jet black, (even blue) just mix it and pour on your head
I picked one that said "Cos I'm worth it" I was worthy of glamour and glitz
I read the instructions, I did what they said (I didn't miss out any bits)
And the guide on the back of the packet said my natural colour would mean
That my hair would have rich reddish wood tones with a truly remarkable sheen
But the result that I got was quite different….it was (without being too harsh)
Not "red wooded tones" but more "cowpat green" (the colour of wet bogging marsh)
A disaster of epic proportions my attempts at coiffure D.I.Y
I needed an expert to save it (a stylist who could "Do or Dye")
I rang a salon that could help me - said they'd soon have my hair looking nice
And they did (…..after five hours labour and a frightening three-figure price)
So when you see her all smiles in the advert with long gleaming tresses in shot
Don't be fooled when she tells you "You're worth it"….
I've tried it…                    Believe me…                                       …I'm not!


Audio version available at:
https://soundcloud.com/nicholavaughan/because-im-worth-it